The Incorrigible Night Owl

August 23, 2004

Bringing you more inconsequential b.s. before 11 a.m....

8:40 -- Awaken to the sound of insane babbling over baby monitor. Roll over and pretend to sleep through it just in case Robert is dying to get up.

8:47 -- Robert still snoring. Give up.

8:50 -- Crawl into clothes, grumbling. Am SO not morning person.

8:54 -- Go grab baby; Madalyn at my heels. Strip baby, change diaper. Head to Madalyn's room to get her dressed.

8:59 -- Field first of approximately four thousand, seven hundred requests by Madalyn to "watch something."

9:03 -- Feed guinea pigs; rabbit. Savor fact that they are not only quiet but cheerfully eat what's put in front of them.

9:10 -- Arrive in kitchen; scrape together a semi-respectable breakfast for both children that covers all the food groups (unsweetened applesauce, yogurt, milk, fruit and grain bars).

9:16 -- Break own cardinal rule by feeding children said breakfast on living room couch.

9:17 -- Watch Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen interview on Regis & Kelly. Agree with Madalyn's assessment that "that one with the yellow hair looks weird." (Yellow-haired one being Ashley, pre-treatment)

9:20 -- First of many phone calls for Robert. His father. Take him phone with grim look. Poor guy can't even get a day off.

9:50 -- Robert finally off phone. Barricades himself in bathroom.

9:51 -- Doorbell. Neighbor from around the corner wanting to know if I've picked our book club book yet. Has dog with her -- large, friendly goofball named Bear.

9:53 -- Console baby, who is having hysterics due to THE DOG. THE DOG that was on our actual front porch and came within seven feet and a pane of glass from touching him!!!!

9:54 -- Disturb Robert in bathroom to let him know who rang the bell just in case he was dying to know.

9:55 -- Knock on bathroom door once again to tell Robert I forgot to tell him something.

9:56 -- Cleaning lady calls to inform that she can now only come every other week.

10:01 -- Another call for Robert. Not his father but a proxy, from the office. Poke phone through bathroom door and run.

10:02 -- Every other week? The hell??

10:06 -- Nearly disturb Robert in the bathroom again to tell him about cleaning lady. Decide against it when I realize the least I can do is let him sit on the toilet in peace since he can't even get a damned day off.

10:08 -- Succumb to temptation to check my Gmail "real quick" while children are distracted by toys. Answer an e-mail.

10:10 -- Resume parenting duties (like I ever really unassume them)

10:12 -- Every other week? Seriously? Damn it, this means I'm going to have to do my own vacuuming!

10:14 -- Lie on couch, snuggling with 4-year-old. Think maybe this parenting thing isn't such a bad gig, after all.

10:18 -- Throw away half a roll of brand-new paper towels after children unroll them on cat-hairy floor and wallow on them.

10:19 -- Is it time for preschool to start yet??

10:21 -- Realize that the JournalCon attendees are probably back and updating their blogs with accounts of the trip. Fight urge to run to computer and start blog-surfing.

10:24 -- Children once again distracted by toys. Hide in kitchen, furtively eat yogurt. Would have something better but am counting points. Doesn't mean I want to share, though. Successfully consume all 8 oz. of yogurt my own damned self.

10:30 -- Robert emerges from back of house, showered, looking weary. Asks if there's anything else I need him to do while he's out. Awww, poor guy. Must be nice to him. Refrain from complaining about anything or asking for money. (Temporary reprieve only. Will resume later.)

10:36 -- Robert leaves, promising vaguely to be back "in a little while." This means three hours from now.

10:42 -- Get the idea for this entry. Head to computer, flanked by children.

10:44 -- Notice baby making drawing motions on a piece of paper with a (capped) ink pen. Am excited. Must be child prodigy. Will sell art pieces and make millions. Take pen away and give him crayon.

10:45 -- Baby eats crayon. Forget child prodigy thing.

10:51 -- Realize entry has lost direction. Not sure where to go with it next. Decide to bring it to close.

10:54 -- Off to post entry on blog. Then will just sit back and watch the readers (all two of them) pour in.

The Incorrigible Night Owl: bringing you more inconsequential b.s. before 11 a.m. than most blogs do all day.