The Incorrigible Night Owl

November 11, 2004

Back in the saddle again

As I write this I am in the middle of my third week doing Weight Watchers. I'm pleased to report that it seems to have finally "clicked" and I have been sticking to it with few exceptions.

I would like to say that it was something I, personally, did to get a handle on it -- like I am just so strong and oozing with willpower that I looked at myself and said, "Okay, I'm going to do it, like it or not!" I can't even say that there was an incident that triggered it. Though I do have to say that watching the Biggest Loser show has been quite the eye opener. I don't see myself on video ever and I think I don't have a realistic view of just how I truly look. So when I see these women who look ENORMOUS and then find out they only weigh 15 lbs. more than I do, well, it's quite the shock because I realize what I must look like. I mean, sure, t.v. adds ten pounds...but the other forty is my own damned fault.

No, with things like this I have found that all I can do is just wait around until it clicks. Eventually I will wake up one morning, start the program, and stick to it. There's no rhyme or reason to why it happens when it does. I have been trying to get back on WW since John Zachary was born 16 months ago. And, every time, I would start counting points, make it maybe one whole day, or sometimes only half a day, and then be seized by the urge to go out to eat. Upon which the points would be chucked out the window and I would rationalize, "I will just start over again tomorrow. What's one more meal going to hurt?" I did that every time until this time. Why is this attempt different? Nobody knows! It's like Sarah Michelle Gellar's can't quite put your finger on what's changed but there's a perceptible difference, nonetheless.

So I've been counting points like a good girl and I'm pleased to report that I lost 3.5 pounds the first week and 2 the second. I must also point out that I've had a mere five Cokes in 18 days. Previously that number would have been anywhere from 18-36 in the same time frame. Not only have I refrained from ripping anyone's head clean from their shoulders, but have actually remained quite pleasant throughout. This is the real victory; the ensuing weight loss is just icing on the cake. (Mmm...cake....) I am drinking anywhere from 60-80 oz. of water a day and feel certain that my eyeballs will, indeed, begin floating and disappear into my cranium at some point. But damned if my skin won't be gorgeous when it happens!

All in all, it has been going well and I pray my newfound resolve will stick around long enough to effect a significant loss. I am only cautiously optimistic, though, as the Weight Loss Gods hate me. I have proof:

1) Pre-meeting Robert -- lose quite a bit of weight. Continue to lose after we get together. Get down to size I was in high school (only with boobs).

2)Hypothyroidism kicks in. Gain 30 lbs. in one year for no apparent reason.

3) Hypothyroidism diagnosed. Begin medication. Think, "Great, now I can lose all this weight!"

4) Six weeks later -- become pregnant.

5) Post-Madalyn -- take my time but finally get motivated and get on Weight Watchers before she turns two. Going like gangbusters. Lose 20 pounds and show no signs of stopping when...

6) 2 months in -- become pregnant.

You see, I haven't exactly had the best of luck in this area. But since the thyroid is now well under control and the baby factory is closed for good, perhaps this time will be the last time I will have to contend with this issue.

Here's to less bovine days ahead.